i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience
unless you experience my penis
I just choked on my food.
that’s not the only thing you’ll choke on
Don’t they usually put choking hazard warnings on really small things?
"What, do you have to reach a high shelf?"
cAN YOu NOT…
I am crying I love this too much
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
GET TO KNOW ME MEME: [3/5] favorite male characters » Eric Northman”Please, I’m a thousand years older than you. Put your baby fangs away before you piss me off.”
This gif is too epic for life
Scott Pilgrim’s response was always on point
jesus christ himself literally created this show
"Some are born with busts, some are born with butts, but whatever makes you feel confident and like loving yourself more, be proud. I’m all for it. ”